Sunday, August 13, 2017


I keep seeing "this is not who we are."

Ummm, yes it is. We created this, with our silence, our quiet acquiescence, our turning off the news because it is too "negative." I have loved ones who have said they cannot watch because it is too negative and too upsetting. My friends, this is the very definition of white privilege. I know the words  "white privilege" make you bristle and they set you on edge. I know, I know, you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and you worked hard for everything you own. I know, I know, no one "gave" you anything. I get it. We grew up together, went to school together, worked together, our kids played together- I know you. I get it.
But our silence and not wanting to be uncomfortable created this. We created this madness. We let it be voted in. We let it seep in, so that people who might have hidden their evils underneath starched white hoods feel comfortable enough to parade with no masks, with their alma maters emblazoned across their chests and their Pepe pens on their white Izods. 
So, my suggestion is to be honest about your white privilege, and stand up for the people who have been denied privilege and equal rights for centuries. You have "white privilege." If you get stopped by the police, and you feel irritation instead of fear- white privilege. If you have not been stopped twenty-eight times for a broken taillight or matching a description of something bad- white privilege. If you have a teenage boy and you have never had to explain to him how to react if he gets stopped by a policeman for no reason- white privilege. If you can walk around Sephora with a Starbucks in hand and a big handbag, without being followed by an employee- white privilege. If you can leisurely walk through Target with no purpose, and with no employees following you- white privilege. If you pay lower rates for your mortgage and your insurance, as played out in the news with one bank that shall not be named but that rhymes with Fells Fargo- white privilege. If you can make a reservation with an online home-sharing site without your name causing the host to tell you it is full- white privilege. If you can hail a taxi easily even as people near you get passed by- white privilege. If you can scroll by the icky news and go straight to the cute animal memes that are not upsetting- white privilege.  If you can live your life without being compelled or driven to pay attention, you, my loves, are enjoying the fruits of your white privilege. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. 
Now. Now what? What to do? 
Hell if I know. Maybe the first thing is to be honest. There is a huge problem in our world and failing to acknowledge it makes it fester and grow. Do not scroll past. Read it. Empathize. Cry. Get honest. Get woke. Educate yourself. Commit to be an ally. Vote. Show up. Let me know what I can do. Be better today, and then be better tomorrow. Be brave. 
Charlottesville shone a light on the cockroaches scattered amongst us. Now, we have a responsibility. Because, unfortunately, this is who we are. But it is not who we have to be. We can be better and do better. We can be louder and more full of love. We can do good things, because love trumps hate. 

Peace and love and shining the light in the darkness, buttercups. XX


  1. Wow, EJ! Thank you! I'm a 40-ish Black man and although I grew up in some tough neighborhoods in Philly I feared very little growing up. I'm now a CPA living in the suburbs of Colorado Springs and several months ago one of my biggest fears was not surviving a routine traffic stop. I've rehearsed in my mind numerous times what to do in such a situation, so the fear has resided. However, it's one that most of my White friends can't truly appreciate but at least emphathize with me about. I readily accept that a White person may have a similar fear when walking down a street at night and two Black men suddenly appear behind them. But it's quite different when your possible assailant has the authority to make you pull over instead of you being able to plan an exit strategy and hopefully make it to safety.

    The examples you provided about being followed in stores definitely happens but after 3 decades of experiencing such one hardly even notices. However, it is annoying when you actually need help finding something and those very people that are following you aren't actually there to assist you. After all, if they were to approach an actual theif and offer assistance he would consider that people are aware of his presence and it may serve as a deterrent.

    I'm an advocate for children, the homeless, and others who may not have a strong voice in their environments; so I truly appreciate this feature and hope that it simply brings awareness to an existing problem. Thank you!!! - Stan

    1. Thanks for your insight- I can only speak from what I see and know, so I love hearing from someone else. It feels like I have lived in a bubble my whole life, and I am just recently seeing beyond it. Hope you have a great day- enjoy the fall weather!

  2. You have great insight for someone just recently seeing beyond their bubble! I REALLY enjoy your perspectives and writing style and yours is the first blog I've appreciated enough to respond to! I'm looking forward to reading past posts and I hope you and your monkeys are enjoying the fall weather also! - Stan


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I used to have reservoirs just a few steps from my wee cottage's front door. Full of bears, squirrels, deer, foxes, and a few animals I ...