Friday, April 21, 2017

The Pug Life

“We are not shit-eaters!”
God help me, my neighbors have probably heard me bellow this across my yard at Mutzie the Pug more mornings than I would like to admit. She usually looks up at me, from whatever she is munching, as if she my admonitions are ruining her morning snack.
Who, me? Pictures or it never happened. 
It’s a vicious cycle. She poops in the yard. The deer poop in the yard. Random woodland creatures poop in the yard. I scoop the poop, thinking of George Carlin’s musings about who really rules the world (hint: he didn’t think the ones holding the bags of poop were the rulers). And Mutzie makes it her life’s work to alert me to what I have missed by having it for her breakfast.
This has been a continuous source of shame for me, a feeling that I have failed as a dog owner. A good dog owner would not have a shit-eater, right? And then, yesterday happened. We took Bella the Puppy to a doggie daycare and boarding facility to get her acclimated for when I have to travel or be gone for long hours. Up on their chalkboard, amongst all of the notes on various dogs, was this:
                          “Beware: Ernest loves to eat poop!!!”
Suddenly, I no longer felt alone in my shame. Somewhere out there, other dog owners probably ran across the lawn in their pajamas, trying to prevent their doggies from partaking of the poop. I had kindred spirits out there- others who would understand the dread of a dog park or trail. There are no deep thoughts in this post, just the realization that it is nice not feel like I am the only person in the world who has used the words, “We are not shit-eaters in this household!”

Peace and love and pugs and pristine lawns, buttercups. xx

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