Saturday, August 24, 2013

Life goes on.

Hello, peeps.
No meaning behind this, just saw it walking to the Farmer's Market...

Thanks for checking in on me, and for all your kind words. Amazing how kind words can soothe our souls more than the 'right' words. I am doing well, a lot wiser about some things than I was a couple of weeks ago.

One, nothing works like it does on TV, when it comes to death and funerals.  It takes time. Time and paperwork and signatures and faxing and scanning and email and phone calls and missed voicemails and, good God, money, to move things forward. On NBC and CBS, it happens in minutes. Someone dies, and the next day everyone is wearing black at the gravesite.

Not reality. My Mema laughed when I told her this, because she knows that arrangements take time. Bless her heart, she has had to bury too many loved ones, so she knows that the wheels creak by very slowly.

Two, apparently there are some arseholes in the death and dying business. One man told my sister there would be a 2000+ transportation fee for my father to be cremated. The next day, the gentleman whom we had been speaking with before said there was no fee for this. Hmmm. I have a feeling that the Transportation Man would have been happy to take two thousand dollars from a grieving family member. It reminds me of being at a bad car dealership in the nineties.

So, even if you are grieving, ask questions. Be smart, like my sister, and ask questions or call back.

Three, grieving catches you by surprise. I feel like I am in the ocean and the waves are big. Sometimes, they knock me over, and sometimes I can see them rolling in and dive under. Often, I am fine, and then I might tear up or have to stop and catch my breath. No rhyme or reason- I am just rolling with it.

And, four, life goes on. I may be sad, but life continues. Kids still outgrow their clothes and need new ones for school. The pug still manages to find strange things to eat and then return said things to my carpet. My oil still needs to be changed. The Farmer's Market continues beckoning to me with kettle corn and Palisades peaches. Library books still need to be turned in and the laundry does not do itself.

Kind of comforting that life goes on whether or not I am sad. Except for the laundry. That could stop already.

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