Saturday, October 6, 2012

No Private Parts or Nazis. Please and Thank You.

Let's talk oversharing, peeps.
no reason, just because I can...

I sometimes overshare. I tell what I am thinking-good, bad, and ugly. I tell stores about the monkeys. I have even been known to throw a gross dawg story in the mix.

However, comma, I only overshare things that will neither harm nor embarrass the monkeys or anyone I love. Facebook and Twitter have become these cesspools of oversharing, and I propose that we go back to a little decorum. Maybe it's the election year, which has made each and every one of us a Constitutional expert with a platform. I propose we go back to cute kitty pictures and blow-by-blow accounts of our lunches.

I solemnly swear to the following, and I urge you to commit to it also....

I will not post about ovaries or vaginas or other various parts, mine or anyone else's. Unless I am running a marathon to fight Ovarian Cancer, you don't need to know the specifics of mine. Likewise, I don't need to know about yours...

I will not post drunken ramblings. If I am going to enjoy two Moscow Mules, or share a bottle of wine with friends, I do not need to hop on Facebook and tell you how much I love you/hate you/need you/don't need you. I need to just enjoy good company and a perfect cocktail.

I will not denigrate you because you believe differently than me. I will limit my political posts and I will respect your political stances.. unless you start posting conspiracy theories or throwing the word 'Nazi' around. In which case, I will unfriend your ass. We can be friends and believe differently but if you start trying to pull that game-ending name calling, you are no friend of mine.

I will limit my quotes to an occasional doozy. I recognize that I am not so wise that I need to send you thirty-five quotes about how to be a better person. Love the occasional quote, but please please make em count. Yoda, Buddha, and Dorothy Parker- these are winning quotes. An occasional Charlie Sheen zinger- winning. And someecards- those aren't quotes as much as just funny, so bring it on.

I will not invite you, three times a day, to cook in my Chefville kitchen, or to play my Glittery Stardust Gambling game. If I want to play a game with you, I will pick up my phone and invite you over to play Scrabble. On a board. with wooden tiles, a score sheet, and an arse kicking.

I solemnly swear to abide by all of these, posting only things that do no harm. I hope you loves can agree to do the same.

Peace and hugs and Nutella Crepes for you all. XOXOXO

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