Sunday, February 26, 2012

Unintentional Diet

I am usually one who goes to comfort food in bad times. I want bread or mac and cheese or tiramisu (looking at you, Patricia...). I want hot drinks and sweet foods that will wrap around me like a security blanket. I want sweet and salty and decadent to make me forget whatever is hurting. I want Paula Deen to cook for me and tell me that everything is going to be okay, as she slathers butter onto anything that slows down.

 Yes that is a bacon egg burger on a glazed donut. Oh. My. Arteries.

Not now, though. For some reason, nothing tastes good. Everything tastes like cardboard. Nothing has any flavor and even swallowing food seems disgusting. I have been living on protein shakes, grape tomatoes and apples for the past week because even smelling food makes my stomach turn.

Friends promise me that the Breakup Diet is temporary, that eventually red wine and cheese will sound good again. In the meantime, I should just enjoy the twelve pounds I have lost thus far. Who knew the breakup would have me fitting in jeans I have not worn in four years? Ooooh, the irony.

And before you ask, Nutella does not even work right now. I told you this was rough.

                                                              picture by Arteries were probably harmed in the photo shoot.

1 comment:

  1. I have always been so fond of the breakup diet. Normally, I'm overly concerned about food so it was always nice to have a break, time to mope and feel all blah and not have food get in my way, giving me enjoyment and kicking my sorry butt back to at least a temporary joy. After my last breakup, I got down to 112 lbs, though. My skeleton was showing. Gabe, of course, put it all back on and then some because he also loves Teh Foods and now I wonder how flab can grow in some of these places! Is there no balance??
    Oh, I had a point! My point is - if you're worrying about not liking food, don't. Worry, I mean. Don't do it. Your body is telling you what it wants right now. It's probably doing something crazy like detoxing itself. Let your body and your brain take control of the diet; they actually know what they're doing right now. Your job is to take care of the proverbial heart (well, and the literal one, I suppose, but it should be doing ok on its own. I mean, don't go doing open-heart surgery on yourself, or anything) and get all the emotions exercised, cleaned up, dusted off, then put away where they belong. And when that's all done, your body will give your brain back to your stomach and you'll be wanting those bacon egg donut burgers again.
    And, dude, that's just gross. Seriously. Those should have been cake donuts. Horf.


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I used to have reservoirs just a few steps from my wee cottage's front door. Full of bears, squirrels, deer, foxes, and a few animals I ...