Monday, February 23, 2015

Do what you love.

"Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still." 
                                                                                                     -Henry David Thoreau

No bones in this pic. But. Look. At. This. Face.

I found this quote tonight while looking for another quote and cannot get it out of my mind. Anyone who has ever been lucky enough to find what they love to do knows what Thoreau speaks of.  When you love something, really love doing something, it gets under your skin. You go to sleep thinking about how you did it that day, you wake up with an idea about how to do it better. You ponder it while you are doing your nine-to-five grind, and think about it as you absentmindedly burn the toast. 

Whether it's singing or writing, building lego sculptures or photography, it is your bone. You gnaw at it, bury it, dig it back up, sniff it, bury it again, roll around thinking about it, unearth it yet one more time, and gnaw a little more.

I'm lucky. I found my bone. I kid that it is red wine or Netflix, but nope. I obsess over it, worry it like a nervous ninny as I bury it and dig it up daily.

We should all be so lucky, right?

Peace and love and knowing your own bone and finding your bliss, buttercups. XO

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Forty one candles

Last year's milestone birthday was shattering, a wreck that became a complete paradigm shift for me, even though I didn't realize it that awful day.

Amazing how one year later, everything is different.



Getting a birthday wish come true at 12:01 AM, then awaking to homemade chocolate cake with a candle and songs, an entire day with the people I love most in the world, presents that were so thoughtful they took my breath away, and working on something I love. The only thing that would have been better would have been MORE hours.

If you had told me on February 13th, 2014, how ridiculously happy I would be on February 13th, 2015, I would have thought you were off your rocker. But here I am. Here we are.

Forty one candles. That's a whole lotta light, cupcakes. Light to soak in and light to give away. Forty one things to be thankful for. Kismet. Grace. Nate. Morgan. My mama. Cinnamon. Pug sneezes. Lab belly rubs. Lucky humperdink's fierce love. Colorado sunrises. Broken in running shoes. Long trails. Sunny days. Good wine. Basil. This itty bitty happy house. Healing hamstrings. Kumquats. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes. Almond milk. Good friends. Second chances. Wisdom. A good pen in my hand. A brand new moleskin notebook to write in. Evernote. University of Denver libraries. Sparks. Skip-bo with my Mema. Left-handed kisses. A few extra dollars in my bank account on the last day of the month. Spring tulips that I pick out for myself. Freedom. Feeling safe enough to turn my lights out. Fresh berries in the fridge. Peaky Blinders on Netflix. Good friends. Paolo Coelho by my bedside lamp. Airline miles to use. Gas in my tank. The ability to breathe freely, without being scared of rustling the sheets.

Forty one wishes. Forty one plans. Travel. Tents. Foreign houseboats and hotels. Two wheels, especially on a cobblestone road. Running on a beach. Riding a roller coaster. Seeing a volcano. Buying fresh fish, straight from a fisherman. Making my own sushi. Forgiving. Growing my own food. Yoga at sunrise. Finishing the book. Kismet on my wrist. Letting the birds fly. Scattering the ashes on a mountaintop. Sleeping under the stars. Better neighbouring. More dinners with friends, and breakfasts and brunches and lunches. Working out with Cinnamon. Doing the Incline without a rest. Having my name at the top of Galaga. More epic boardgames with the monkeys. Being a voice for mamas with no voice. Maybe tiptoe-ing back into the labyrinth and through the doors. Being vulnerable. Being authentic, even if my voice shakes. Loving BIG. More greens. Less chocolate. Better chocolate. More water. Less coffee. More sleep. Less nightmares. Sending thank you notes. Sending the love letters. Less safety and wading in the shallow water. More diving into the deep. Soaking in every second with the monkeys. Loving better. 

Happy Day, cupcakes. And a belated thank you for all of the love- I felt it all.

Peace, love, more hours, and a lotta light, XOXO.