Saturday, January 28, 2012

Reputation

me- "When is the last time you bathed?"

the kid- "Mmmmm. I dunno. The last time you asked me to bathe?"

me- "Gross, man. Go take a bath."

the kid- "I can't, Mom."

me- "Why? Are you allergic to water?"

the kid- "No, Mom. I have a reputation to protect."

Mom- 0   The Kid- 612


Athena, Goddess of Wisdom. Who Owns the Crickets.


Meet Athena Spot, the coolest Leopard Gecko ever. Quite possibly the coolest pet ever. And depending on the day, my favorite breathing thing ever. She doesn't rifle through my trash and string it from one end of the house to the other. She doesn't eat grass and vomit it up in trails on my new carpet. She doesn't try to park her stinky ass on my feather pillow while I am working to pay for her special food. She doesn't lift her leg on my favorite couch. She doesn't start asking for things at six in the morning while I am stumbling around looking for coffee. She doesn't lift her palm up and say "Whatever, Mom." She doesn't start asking for a certain kind of car thirty-six months before a driver's license is even an option. She doesn't want to talk about feelings. She doesn't overwork and ignore me. She just sits on her rock, lets me pet her and eats the occasionally weirdly silent cricket.
I. Love. Athena.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Less Douchebag, More Glitter

Man, I have just completely SUCKED at keeping up with the intertubes. I promise to write more and interact more, but I have been busy battling my own demons, everyone else's demons, the world, and King Asshat Douchebag. Life gets hairy with all of that. In the meantime, I give you my favorite things...
Because, truly, isn't life immensely better with bacon, glitter and unicorns? I'd put a picture of Neil Patrick Harris up too but that might be jumping the shark.
Peace and love and we will catch up soon, friends.