Seriously, Facebook would like for me to get out there and get my groove on.
Since I changed my status on Facebook to 'single', which I failed to realize would go ANYWHERE except on my 'About' page, I have gotten all of the Facebook fun. No more ads for Gout treatments, no more Scientology cruises or suggestions to follow the Number One Glutenologist.
|Thanks spelb.com for the cool hearts...|
Nope, I get the looove. I get Zoosk.com. Zoosk promises me fun even "if I am frustrated with online dating." And I get to join for free since I am an XX chromosome holder. It also has a pic of an officer, so I don't know if I am supposed to drool or sit up straight and act like I haven't been drinking wine while surfing the intertubes.
Next, I get Fitness-Singles.com. This one promises me pictures and profiles of local skiers. And love. Funny thing is, it has a picture of a guy in a Speedo. I know it has been warm this winter, but that is some wonky skiing attire, stud muffin.
Then I get TEXTYOUREXBACK. "Learn fifteen ways to get him back." This ad comes complete with a wide-eyed psychotic man staring feverishly at his phone. This ad actually looks more like 'fifteen ways to get a restraining order slapped across your face', but maybe I just misread signals...
And of course, the ubiquitous match.com ad. You'd think match.com would've blocked ever doing anything anywhere near me, as much fun as I have made of them after they matched my ex up with my bff... Nope. there is match.com, with a promising picture of a shirtless firefighter in suspenders. Because that actually happens in real life, right?
Just when I start to taste a little vomit from Facebook throwing all of this on my page, I see the ad. THE AD. The one that advertises the local liquor outlet with 'cheap wine' specials. Now this is an ad I can curl up with in front of a cozy fire...